Getting a divorce can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally challenging. Many people dread the idea of battling their case through the court system and may consider an alternative dispute resolution method such as mediation. In Arizona divorce mediation, the spouses meet with a neutral third party to try to resolve their outstanding legal issues. However, this process requires negotiating without your attorney present, which means you or your spouse might end up dissatisfied with the outcome.

An alternative approach is collaborative divorce, which may provide a way to resolve divorce-related issues outside of the traditional court litigation process. DM Cantor’s Family Law Practice (currently known as Cantor Law Group) can help you understand whether this option is right for your situation and guide you through a process that protects your interests while aiming for a cooperative resolution.

What is Collaborative Divorce?

A collaborative divorce is a legal approach to resolving divorce cases with the assistance of specially trained collaborative divorce lawyers. First developed in 1990 by Minnesota attorney Stuart Webb, this process allows divorcing spouses to negotiate directly with the support and guidance of their attorneys, aiming to reach a comprehensive settlement agreement on all issues in their case.

Through collaborative divorce, couples may be able to resolve matters such as the division of property and debts, legal decision-making and parenting time for children, child support, and spousal maintenance—all without the need for contentious courtroom battles.

How Does Collaborative Divorce Work?

Before beginning a collaborative divorce, the spouses must have an open conversation to ensure both are willing to work together throughout the process. If either spouse is unwilling, the collaborative approach will not be effective.

If both parties agree to proceed, each spouse must hire their own attorney. It is essential to choose an attorney experienced in the collaborative divorce process and committed to alternative dispute resolution methods.

Family lawyers skilled in handling collaborative divorces focus on reaching settlements that allow both spouses to feel they have “won.” However, your attorney’s primary duty is to represent your interests alone. This means that if you are uncomfortable with any specific term in your Arizona divorce, your lawyer will advocate for changes to protect your rights and ensure the outcome works for you.

Collaborative Divorce Lawyers

After you have retained a collaborative divorce lawyer from DM Cantor’s Family Law Practice (currently known as Cantor Law Group), you will want to meet privately with him or her to explain what you would like from your divorce. You should discuss how you want to handle custody and visitation, how you would like the assets and debts to be divided, and how child and spousal support might be addressed. If you and your spouse have IRAs, 401(k)s, pension plans, or other retirement accounts, you should also talk to your lawyer about how these should be divided.

You will work with your lawyer to begin building your collaborative team, which may include a financial specialist, a divorce coach, and a child specialist. These professionals will work together with you, your spouse, and both attorneys. Your case might not require all three types of specialists, but if you have children, you will likely want to include a child specialist. Your collaborative divorce team will partner with you and your spouse to help negotiate outcomes that work best for your family.

The Next Steps After Establishing a Collaborative Divorce

Once you have met privately with your lawyer from DM Cantor’s Family Law Practice (currently known as Cantor Law Group), you will begin a series of meetings with your spouse and both attorneys. At the first meeting, all four of you will sign an agreement stating that you will not litigate your divorce in court. This agreement provides that both lawyers will withdraw from the case if either you or your spouse ends the collaborative process and initiates litigation. The commitment to avoid court can serve as a strong incentive for both parties to continue negotiating, even if discussions become challenging. If your attorney or team withdraws, you will need to hire a new team.

Following this initial meeting, you and your spouse will meet with your lawyers to discuss your priorities, needs, and goals during the process. You will continue participating in four-way meetings, with the aim of making progress toward a mutually acceptable settlement at each session. Throughout the process, you and your spouse must be willing to provide all necessary information for negotiations to move forward, including:

• Tax returns
• Information about assets and debts
• Employment details
• All sources of income

Collaborative Divorce Process

In a collaborative divorce, there is no formal discovery process, so you must trust that your spouse has provided all relevant information. If you believe your spouse may attempt to hide important details, a traditional divorce process may be a better choice. While hiding assets is relatively rare, it does occur in some cases. If you conceal assets during your divorce, the court may reopen the case in the future and change the division of property.

Once you and your spouse have agreed on the terms of your divorce, your attorneys from DM Cantor’s Family Law Practice (currently known as Cantor Law Group) will prepare a settlement agreement for both of you to sign. You should not sign if you disagree with any part of it. If the settlement is fair and reasonable to both parties, the judge will approve it, making it the final judgment in your divorce case.

What are the Pros and Cons of Collaborative Divorce?

A collaborative divorce offers several potential benefits, including:

• Working together to negotiate can help reduce resentment.
• It may maximize the amount of time each parent can spend with their children.
• The process can lessen the emotional conflict often caused by court litigation.
• The collaborative team can provide more creative solutions instead of leaving all decisions to a judge.

However, there are also potential drawbacks:

• The possibility of litigation still exists.
• If one spouse is dishonest, the process will likely fail.
• If no resolution is reached, you must start the divorce process over from scratch.

What Happens if the Settlement Process Breaks Down?

If the collaborative process fails, you and your spouse may restart the divorce in court. If only one issue remains unresolved, you can agree to the other terms and litigate that single matter. When the process doesn’t work, both lawyers from DM Cantor’s Family Law Practice (currently known as Cantor Law Group) will withdraw, and each spouse will need to hire new attorneys.

How to Determine if Collaborative Divorce is Right for You

Collaborative divorce is not suitable for every couple. Whether it’s right for you depends on your willingness to cooperate and negotiate. If there is a history of domestic violence or severe communication problems, a traditional divorce process may be necessary.

If you and your spouse can discuss matters rationally and set aside personal conflicts, the collaborative process may save both time and money. Divorce is emotionally challenging, and it’s unlikely both parties will feel they received everything they wanted. However, a collaborative divorce allows you to maintain control over important decisions without relying on a judge’s intervention.

When Might Collaborative Divorce Not Be the Best Choice?

To succeed with the collaborative divorce process, you must be willing to compromise—understanding that you will not walk away with everything you want. You may not even receive what you propose in a counteroffer. If you are unwilling or unable to compromise, litigation may be a better option. While litigation also rarely results in getting everything you want, the decisions are made by a judge rather than through mutual agreement.

For couples who are highly competitive, collaborative divorce may not be the right fit. This process is not about creating a winner and a loser—it is about working together to reach an agreement that meets both parties’ top priorities.

Articulating Exactly What You Want

Clear communication is essential in collaborative divorce. If you have difficulty expressing exactly what you want, you may struggle in this process, potentially leading to results you won’t be satisfied with. In litigation, the judge takes the evidence and makes decisions for you.

The Level of Work Required

Collaborative divorce demands active involvement. You must be willing to prepare for meetings, complete necessary tasks, and fully participate in discussions. In litigation, your attorney handles much of the preparation and speaks on your behalf during negotiations and court proceedings.

When Domestic Violence Is Involved

If you are a victim of domestic violence, collaborative divorce is not appropriate. The fear and anxiety you may feel toward your spouse can prevent you from fully participating or trusting them in the process. Additionally, the process cannot work if your spouse uses intimidation. In such cases, it is generally in your best interest to pursue a traditional divorce through litigation.

The collaborative divorce process offered by DM Cantor’s Family Law Practice (currently known as Cantor Law Group) can provide an alternative to court litigation for couples who are able to work together amicably. If you and your spouse believe you can resolve your divorce issues cooperatively, it may be a viable option for you.